Support without pushing them away.

Every intensive use of screens triggers artificially high dopamine spikes. The teenage brain adapts by reducing its sensitivity to reward. The result: ordinary activities — sport, reading, real conversations — generate less satisfaction. The threshold rises. And dependency takes hold without anyone noticing — neither the child nor the parents.

Irritability and aggressiveness when screens are taken away. Difficulty concentrating at school. Gradual loss of interest in activities they used to love. Social withdrawal, fewer outings with real friends. Sleep problems, going to bed later and later. Taken separately, these signs can seem trivial. Together, they form a picture that deserves attention.

In Switzerland, the average age of first exposure to pornography is 11 to 12. 52% of boys under 19 have already been exposed. In the vast majority of cases, this exposure is not sought out at first. It comes through a shared link, an ad, a clumsy search. What happens next largely depends on what the child has heard — or hasn't heard — beforehand.

Social media presents a curated, optimised version of human reality. Your child constantly compares themselves to filtered bodies, idealised lives, popularity metrics. Studies show a direct correlation between intensive use and deteriorating self-esteem, social anxiety and depressive symptoms. Cyberbullying affects 29% of young Swiss people.

Before talking about the risks, take an interest in what they do online. Which games? Which videos? Which networks? Not to monitor, but to understand their world. A child whose parent knows their digital interests feels less judged when the time comes for a difficult conversation.

Say: "I read some interesting things about how apps are designed to make us spend more time on them. Would you like to talk about it?" · "Do you ever find yourself scrolling without really knowing why? It happens to me too." · "If one day you came across something online that bothered you, would you know you can talk to me about it?"

Avoid: "You spend too much time on your phone." · "Pornography is bad." · "If you keep this up..." · "You don't understand the dangers."

Rules imposed without explanation create secrecy. Rules negotiated with the child — explained, discussed — are far better respected. Involve them in setting the limits. What time does the phone go in the box at night? Which apps are allowed? This negotiation process is itself educational.

A child reproduces what they observe. If you scroll during meals, answer emails in the evening and check your phone every ten minutes, your speech about the dangers of screens will have little effect. This is not a judgement. It's a neurological reality: children learn by imitation long before they learn by instruction.

On iPhone: Settings › Screen Time › enable the parental passcode. Set app limits by category. Block adult content in Safari via Settings › Screen Time › Content Restrictions › Web Content › Limit Adult Websites. Enable Cloudflare's 1.1.1.3 DNS for network-level filtering.

On Android: Settings › Digital Wellbeing › enable parental controls. Google Family Link for under-13s. OpenDNS FamilyShield as an alternative DNS.

Our parents' booklet details every step with clear instructions.

Phone in a shared box at night, for the whole family including parents. No screens during meals. One screen-free hour before bedtime. One physical or creative activity per day away from screens. These rules are more effective when they apply to the whole family.

If your child shows intense irritability when screens are removed, growing social isolation, falling school results, or if you suspect long-standing exposure to pornography, professional help can be useful. Your family doctor is the first port of call. Addiction Switzerland: 0800 105 105 (free).